work,work,work, sick,work.

Today is the first day this week I feel a little human I woke up Monday really sick and unfortunately since I open the coffee shop at 6:30am I can't really call in sick so I went in and opened and stayed for 3 hours then they sent me home. Tuesday I called in sick and rested up and I've been working everyday since but still wasn't 100% so I would get home exhausted. I haven't been to the gym or in my art room all week, I haven't even gone tanning I'd just come home and collapse on the couch. Today I work at the clothing store for a few hours which will be fun. My younger son Adam is here he'll be hanging out, Cam is away for the day visiting his best friend and their new baby. Tonight is game two of the hockey playoffs GO CANUCKS!!!!!

We have been suffering from the worst weather in history here it's been rainy cold and miserable normally by now we have sunshine and warmth. Yesterday the sun finally decided to show itself so when we picked up Adam we put the top down on the convertible and decided to head downtown Vancouver for gelato it was delicious! I love that we do stuff spur of the moment like that it makes me happy my only regret was I didn't have a camera with me.

I am trying to figure out some new songs to download for art inspiration because next week Cam is away and I am going to use it as an excuse to not worry about dinner or anything and just come home put on the music and paint paint paint.

I am off to get all fancy for work one of the reasons I love the second job no boring black uniform and I don't have to tie back all my hair I can be pretty and I get to spend the day mentally shopping for my next outfit lol.

Feeling blue....

oh blogland is anyone even reading this? As of the last post still not one creative project finished :( The bear is getting close but not done.
I am having a super hard time with a lot of things almost all related to the divorce I just feel so ripped off and kinda trapped with no career or money it sucks.
One thing I always have is my fiancee he's amazing and I love him so much and I hate that he has to deal with the sad, crappy feeling sorry for myself me.
I have to work at a job I like but it's not what I want to be doing ten years from now I want to be making art, and have a career in it somehow but so much of my time is taken just trying to get by money wise that I am just tired I feel so lost somedays.
Anyway I don't have much good to say today I had a sleepless night stressing about selling my old house with the ex which was supposed to be my nest egg but it looks like that is not going to happen. All I can see right now is life in a dead end job I don't enjoy making next to nothing.

How's that for a little ray of sunshine!

While the boys are away...I get to play!

Here I am back again I can't remember if I have missed one or two days of blogging but it's been a crazy week. I still have not had a chance to paint or create at all :(

Today my awesome, super adorable fiancee has decided to take my two boys fishing. They got up at the crack of dawn to head out which meant I had to be up at the crack of dawn to get the boys moving. If you have ever tried to wake an almost 16 year old up at 6am you feel my pain I am sure. My 12 year old popped right out of bed got dressed and proceeded to harass his brother to hurry up. He was really excited to go fishing.

So this means I have a whole weekend day to myself! I only get to see my boys from Friday night to Sunday night because they live with their Dad so they can keep going to the same schools. I hate it but I am trying to get used to it because they seem happy. That means I don't work weekends I spend them with my kids that also means I don't have weekends to be creative usually I have to squeeze it in after a long day at work during the week.

So today I just finished organizing my art room. Many moons ago I was a teddy bear artists I made miniature artist bears, I was even in a few bear magazines, did bear shows, won some awards and really enjoyed doing it. Then the economy went to crap and making bears wasn't making me any money. Today I spent the morning going through the thousands of dollars of supplies I have organizing making a mental list of what I have and don't have and I think I am going to get back into making bears and see how it goes. The rest of my alone time is going to be spent finishing off a bear I started a few weeks ago. I started him on a whim to see how it felt to sew again. It felt good and I am ready to bring new little creatures to life :)

I'm popping in season 2 of Supernatural and getting out the needle and thread. Wish me luck!

Rocked out and now I'm knocked out....

Well turns out spur of the moment we decided to head downtown and see if we could score some tickets to see Kid Rock in concert. We did and it was a great concert, he sounded great and put on an awesome show. I am a sucker for any kind of live music I was smiling all day and partially deaf for most of the morning.

Today I worked the opening 6:30am shift at the coffee place and then a short three hour shift at the clothing  store. I had four hours between jobs but unfortunately since I don't drive it wasn't worth coming home so I hung out and read my book, drank coffee did a little shopping and hit the tanning bed for four whole minutes. Came home watched our Canucks kick a little Shark butt and ate sushi.

NO art has been made but tomorrow I just have one job and tonight I plan on getting some really good sleep because I am tired! Which means tomorrow there will be creativity happening.

The curse of the perfectionist.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, too much thinking and not enough doing if you ask me. I really want to get back into being creative but so many other things seem to take away my time and then I have this problem of needing things to be perfect all the time. 

I want to paint but what if it doesn't work and I waste a canvas, I want to blog but my blog looks too unprofessional, I want to write but I don't want anyone to read it for fear of looking like an amateur. So many reasons not to do anything at all but work at a job I don't really like and not do what makes me happy. Well it's time to change! I am going to work at doing at least one piece of work a week, I am going to try to blog everyday about what I am up to and most importantly I am going to stop worrying about the what ifs and just do it. I am going to start living creatively and stop living in a constant state of procrastination. 

Tonight I am just waiting for my man to get home and then we are going to hit the gym, have sushi and then I hope to find time to put pencil to paper or paint to canvas or charcoal to sketch pad somewhere in there I need to shower, and wash dry and straighten my hair because I work tomorrow morning as a barista and tomorrow night as a fashionista....yah that's right I have to squeeze this creative stuff in between two jobs, not to mention two kids, one dog and a fiancee.

This just in we may instead hit the KID ROCK concert if we can find last minute tickets! woohoo. 

Stay tuned..........

Illustration Friday #2 for me: Stir

Long story short I am new to this Illustration Friday thing and in order to participate last time I created a blog and then promptly forgot my email and blog password so here I am again with a new blog (it's hard coming up with names for these things!)

This weeks Illustration Friday theme was Stir:

For some reason stir made me think of the story The Night Before Christmas and the famous "not a creature was stirring not even a mouse." line. Which made think of this little guy who's favourite hobby is stirring, patiently waiting for Christmas Eve to be over so he could get back to it.

Hope you enjoy and comments are always appreciated!